Three weeks already...

Nope, today is like any other day, except that I have a lot of time on my hands so what better way than typing away to glory. The weather is lovely and I feel like I'm at a hill station, the sun hidden behind the clouds, the wind playing hide and seek with the curtains in my room. I'm at school.. yea this sinks in a little more everyday. The inventory shrinkage (judge me not, that accounting paper is still playing havoc on my senses), mindless anxiety before an exam, burning the mid night oil and the timeless question, how was the paper :)


Some things never change. 


A whole lot has been happening around me, at breakneck speed and at times all I'm doing is playing catch up. That's fun and not sometimes. The first class, when the professor went over his background and started class, and I swear I heard a voice in my head which said, wow I'm actually a student again. 


Sitting in a room with a view, music and blogging away can feel exceptionally good, I realize. This after a series of submissions and back to back exams. 


New found love for a library, thanks to the expensive books and the shortage of time to go over them. Don't get me wrong, I love books, but I am not a library person, I cannot sit in an alien surrounding and study. I'm getting used to the idea. Among getting used to things, I am getting used to the idea of studying. When I say studying I mean the whole deal, going to class, taking down notes, coming back and revisiting whatever was taught, and trying to allocate some time everyday for preparing for class. It sure feels different, and I mean it in a real nice way. 


About the place, I have been here for 3 weeks now (well almost) and it does feel like a really long time. I cannot quite describe how beautiful the campus is. The concrete and the green. The manicured lawns, the wide variety of birds, that you can spot every now and then. Never in my life have I truly felt the need for a great lens as badly as here. You never know when a beautiful moment, just passes you by. Capture it while you can. It could be that unusually tiny bird you never imagined you'd spot, or just random loafing around with a bunch of people in the dead of the night with no agenda whatsoever. Assorted batches of people, slogging it out to finish assignments and then some finding time to jam amidst all this. 


Plagiarism is almost criminalm but cant help it, if some 'positioning statements,' (yes we had marketing too) capture it so well. 


I'm loving it!

Things Best left unsaid!

For cheap thrills...


Disclaimer: I have been giving these a lot off late. This post borders on being plain rude and offensive, but I'm in the mood for a scathing attack, so no apologies extended for now. 

A lot of times people shoot off their mouths, in such a self assured manner, that one feels tempted to cut them short in their tracks and burst their bubble. But then most of those times better sense prevails (thank God for little mercies) and whatever came to mind or rather the tip of your tongue is best left unsaid. In the hindsight, the conversation you almost had in your head, is pretty entertaining.

For example, 
5 foot nothing said: Oh! when I am with a chick, and she has other friends join her, to ensure they don't feel left out, I hit on all of them at the same time. I have done that so many times, hit on more than 1 or 2 girls all at once.
Me: Really.... where in  Lilliput land or in your version of Inception, where you are the architect of your dreams.... (In my head of course)

Mowgli: You're almost Perfect now! 
Me: Im not sure if I should thank you for your generosity or remind you to check out the mirror every once in a while :)

Ms. Rocks: My ring finger is worth 2 lacs.
Me: Wow, only you can put price tags, to parts of you. I could never put a price to any of me, but then, only Some things are Priceless, for Everything else, there's Mastercard :D

So much for now, more to follow, hopefully soon. Yes, I am mean and brutal sometimes :)


PS: All characters in this post are real, and bound to bear resemblance to people alive. None of this is co-incidental and every bit is fully intended. The author bears full responsibility of the same.

I felt nothing.... or so it felt

I would use the proverbial 'I put in my papers today,' although I wonder why we say that, cause in reality I just shot a two line email to the concerned people. Anyway, I resigned today. I have heard a lot being said by friends and colleagues in the past, that this is a strange feeling. I've heard stuff like you feel really light after sending it, or relieved, or sad, or mixed emotions etc etc. I mean the few minutes between when you are done composing the two lines, revisiting them 10 times and hitting that 'send,' button. But strangely I felt 'nothing.' 

It could be due to several reasons, I had been waiting for this time for a bit too long now. Or may be there weren't any friends 'around,' to share the feeling &/or moment with. Or cause life will continue as is for the next few weeks, till I actually stop going, and the routine discontinues. I just sent it like any other 'out of office,' 'leave,' email.

I shared it with someone best described as my almost elder sis/gyaan guru/gossip queen/support system/friend, and she had some really nice things to say.

- It will be overwhelming: I didn't feel this at all somehow, am i being weird, or is the idea over-rated?

- Go hug mom, when you get home: Done, always happy to :)

- Take the happy memories: Pictures, laughter, whining, goof ups, random chats, chai breaks, celebrations, events, colors, new beginnings, moving on, farewell emails, farewells, alcohol overdoze, dinners, and some more? Still frames in my mind...

- Leave all the baggage behind: Tough one this!

She continued: 'Its a Big Brave Step!'

Indeed it is. When you spend almost half a decade at a place, learning earning and having fun along the way, it is a shot at bravery, to finally hit that 'send,' button and then the countdown begins...

Not to mention the innumerable times I have been quizzed about my last working day by every second person. 

I know what you're thinking, where is this post going, and that its a little all over the place, but really so am I right now. I would ideally like to feel something, but I am not able to nail what that something really is. If only 'something,' would equal some sentiment or emotion. 

I totally had to share it, cause sometimes you need to go over your own actions and plans over and over again for them to sink in, and for you to realize their impact.

The end for a new beginning! 

It felt nothing, only enough that I should blog about it :)

I came across this poem, and it was too good to not share.
  

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. 
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size 
But when I start to tell them, 
They think I'm telling lies. 
I say, 
It's in the reach of my arms, 
The span of my hips, 
The stride of my step, 
The curl of my lips. 
I'm a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman, 
That's me. 
 

I walk into a room 
Just as cool as you please, 
And to a man, 
The fellows stand or 
Fall down on their knees. 
Then they swarm around me, 
A hive of honey bees. 
I say, 
It's the fire in my eyes, 
And the flash of my teeth, 
the swing in my waist, 
And the joy in my feet. 
I'm a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman, 
That's me. 
 

Men themselves have wondered 
what they see in me. 
They try so much 
But they can't touch 
My inner mystery. 
When I try to show them, 
They say they still can't see. 
I say, 
It's in the arch of my back, 
The sun of my smile, 
The ride of my breasts, 
The grace of my style. 
I'm a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman, 
That's me. 
 

Now you understand 
just why my head's not bowed. 
I don't shout or jump about 
Or have to talk real loud. 
When you see me passing, 
It ought to make you proud. 
I say, 
It's in the click of my heels, 
The bend of my hair, 
the palm of my hand, 
the need for my care. 
'Cause I'm a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman, 
That's me.

                     -- Maya Angelou

Kleptomaniac......is there one in you?

Disclaimer: Totally borders on being offensive, but no personal attack intended and Im all for freedom of expression.

 A lot has been happening of late (good things for a change :D) so haven't been able to focus. Anyway, back now. I'll leave the place I got used to spending 10-12 hours at, daily and getting paid for doing so. There's still time, but I am trying to get in to the third person mode and learning to look at things more objectively, which clearly gives a lot of food for thought. 

Like I've mentioned earlier, I work at a pretty nice office, with fully stacked micro kitchens and a rather elaborate spread at the meal times. The micro kitchens are stacked for munching between meals and clearly attribute singed-handedly for all the extra body mass floating around. Anyway, so when I say stacked, really they are loaded, with all sorts of mouth watering distractions, ranging from chocolates, muffins, instant noodles, fruit cakes, aerated drinks, milk shakes, fruits, candies, health bars, yogurt, and what not. You get the picture right. 

Ideal behaviour - Go to the MK, take your fill, to munch away while working/gossiping. Laze around and waste time around a plethora of food.

About Acceptable behaviour - picking up your share of junk food or whatever have you, to address the hunger pangs en route home.

Unacceptable behaviour -  clearing off the racks, and loading the huge laptop bags. In an attempt to do justice to everything, picking fruits, beverages, junk food, and pretty much everything that can be carried in the backpack. 

I know we are like a developing 3rd world nation and all that, but really folks coming from well-do homes, educated lot, (clearly if you were hired, I'm assuming you ought to have received some, and I don't mean accumulating degrees, but education which is a lot more than being literate) cleaning off racks. And these are definitely not your survival kit, unless you are in the business of maintaining a daily supplies store, which is yet another line of thought. 

What can be the temptation? My mind forces me to arrive at only one logical explanation 'there's a kleptomaniac,' in a lot of us. 

The minute there is free stuff and no one's looking, something triggers the devil into action. Do you generally clean fridge racks etc at friends places too (its free and no one will suspect)? Or unattended aisles at departmental stores, but oh there's the bloody CCTV, making operations difficult and the damn tags and codes.

So if you are secretly associating yourself with the third category (Come on how long can one be in denial and point fingers, we all know deep down who we are), then may be its good to curb this devil, no? 

A reason, season or lifetime

Most of us have heard this, more often than we would like to acknowledge. Increasingly I have come to realize this. The realization is a bit unnerving at some level, but also comforting cause you stop pushing yourself. May be the series of goodbyes I have had to say this year, is to be blamed for this moment of clarity. 

I've always been the kinds to keep a few friends, but real close ones at that. The thought of them going away for work/study or any other reason, has always been kinda unwelcome. Not that I am against change only as long as it doesn't change the canvas of my life too much. Yea Im somewhat set in my ways. Sides, its that sinking feeling, which is momentary though (thank God for little mercies) but its like So this is it. That's what I dread the most.

I have been lucky to meet and interact with some real nice people, seriously funny, sharp, good looking, witty, motivated, focused and still fun.. and more, and with each one of them I have cherished the time spent. Its when they got busy with their lives, is when I truly realized that not everyone is here for a lifetime. 

A bunch of people I traveled with, for work, stayed and had quite a bit of fun, all made for good company. And now its been over 2 may be 3 years that I haven't spoken to a single one of them. It felt strange at first, cause I did try hard to stay in touch, but realized that they were there for a season. When all of us needed each others company and the comfort there in. That in our respective lives, the way we were, we could have never been friends for long, may be just acquaintances. 

Some people I met (virtually) and at the time it seemed like just a passing acquaintance, but these same people form very vital pillars of my life. Its like having a pen pal (very Old school I know, in this perpetually connected digital age), who you're never sure of meeting in person, nonetheless their presence is important. Specially on one of those particularly pensive days. They bring the cheer with music/pics/random gossip or just feel good talk. So they're there for a reason, but I'd like it if the reasons never end, so I can bank on the friendships for good for long.

At college, I was quite blunt in expressing that I'd perhaps never really make an effort to keep in touch with any of my classmates. And to my own utter surprise, not only do we keep in touch, but could easily be the best of pals. So I know for sure these people are here to stay. Then my bunch of friends at work, most of whom have moved on with their lives. I'd have never given credit to how deep our bonds really were, but only now do I realize that these friendships were not seasonal, but will hopefully last a lifetime. All the people I met along the way, at work and outside. The contours of our lives might be constantly changing, but we would always find a way back to connect somehow....or so I hope. Cause I really believe that these folks are for a lifetime.

Finally, the people I have tried the hardest to hold on, slipped away with time and years. Losing in the crowd, memories gradually fading away, sucked up by the chaos called life. I am not quite sure about this part, the why and the how. Were they here for a reason, that I can't fathom, or a season called good times.......who can say!

Palna (Cradle)

Disclaimer: All those not in the mood for in-your-face reality bites (literally), specially with the festivities in the air, can stop reading now!


Writing after a real long time, a lot of people who matter have been reminding me to get back so yea. Yours truly is here again :). My sentences might appear rather choppy, cause Im yet to gather my thoughts, and form sentences subsequently. The order of these two activities is kind of messed up right now, so excuse the chaos.


This post is about Palna which is the hindi word for 'cradle,' which Im assuming, most of us would know is the horizontal bed, used for rocking infants. It is this orphanage close to where I stay. I chose Diwali to visit this place, cause sometimes we forget to be grateful. Sometimes, we feel a little less blessed. We're angry, we're hurt, we're disappointed, and most of all we're disillusioned. Well, again I'm assuming it happens to all of us.


Like I forewarned you, if you're feeling rather high and festive, this is not the post you want to read. 


I stepped in, hoping to spread some cheer. Small feet rushed towards me, dressed in reds and blues and greens and yellows. Greeted me, 'Happy Diwali,' and almost as swiftly as they had appeared, vanished in to the garden, back to the merriment. All young children between 1-8 years, oblivious of almost everything that might bother a grown up mind. Blissfully so... 
I couldn't muster a response, I must have choked, I don't remember that part. 


What I do remember though is feeling quite guilty of not being thankful, often enough. 


Thankful to my parents, for the beautiful life they gave me, my education, all material things, the world of opportunities and everything in between. 

Who is a Friend?


I believe we never stop learning. I try picking up habits, traits, skills et al. I try hard to be like a sponge, absorbing as much as the world has to offer, by way of people around me, friends, family, acquaintances etc. More often than not, the context could be missing, but if there's something about you, I really admire, be sure that I would pick it up and put it to practice. That said, there are a lot of things, which might have been said by friends off hand, but have gotten etched in my mind, cause they gave me a whole new perspective. Whatever they said, helped me see things in a new light. Im sure by now you are wondering where this is heading. I'll get to it soon (assuming I am to hold your interest that long)


Here I was whining bout my life in general, to a friend. All this over chat, cause well I keep procrastinating about calling her, but the thought rarely converts to action. But she being truly what she is, saw me online and inquired if I was fine, all thanks to my prolonged state of hibernation from my friend circle. She figured there would be volumes I needed to offload. 


After going on for 5 full minutes, ( and thats a lot, cause I type quite fast), all she had to say was, 'Do you seek me out as a friend ever?, call me up at any hour of the day, wherever I am, I seek you out when I need a friend, I tell you whatever bothers me because I don't need to be told that you are a friend and I can speak to you, I know you are there and even if I don't meet you, that's a lot of support for me mentally.' 


I have always felt that the whole '2 a.m friend is an over-rated concept, but I have only truly realized its meaning now. While its good to have a bunch of like-minded people to hang out with at nice cafe's and bars, sometimes you need that doze of reality and affection that a true friend can offer. Your life may not look like one long party, but those one or two real close pals, sure make it a lot more bearable and put it all in perspective.


So, thanks my dear for being you always.....

All Things Money can(t) Buy


Ok this might sound like a Mastercard advert. But I will try my best to not make it sound like one.


This somebody I'd like to call pseudo Kate Middleton has been bragging about her rather grand wedding plans. I have been forced to absorb a lot, we share our bay (quite a bit of luck there), my poor ears and subsequently senses have been tortured quite a bit. My brain feels like scrambled egg at the verge of getting totally charred due to overheating.  Why did I choose Kate Middleton,
well first she was Not a blue blood, second several thousand people watched her getting married, third, there was such a fuss about her marriage, it was made out to be THE wedding of the decade.  


I don't plan to give you a download of the sensory overdose I was subjected to, but it sure got me thinking. All things money can or cannot buy:


A real nice top of the line car, the most latest model in a color of your choice. It has to have the best music system fitted in, cause whats a drive without music. What about a wonderfully company who hums along with the music in the car, in a voice so good that it makes your heart take flight.


A princess like well planned trousseau, grand celebrations, swarovskis and diamonds, a pricey photographer, exotic locations, guests being flown from beyond the pacific, and the works. What about the knight in shining armour all those classic literature books would have us believe? Forget the shining armour, but at least just the right guy. 


A villa to call home, fill it with some staff members to maintain the property and a dog to keep the staff busy. What about some people in it, to drown the deafening silence?


Wonderful holiday destinations, breathtakingly beautiful photographs, picture perfect moments captured to a T, what about the priceless memories with some loved ones, which are beyond SLR abilities?


Gadgets, places, things and more...... I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad, buy all of the things I never had!

The Magic of Print

An otherwise slow moving Sunday, was made quite delightful I realized, yet again by all forms of printed media. Technology has come a long way in giving us company, and keeping the tech savvy hungry for more. It has filled our days with easily accessible information, friends (just a ping away), music from all parts of the world, classics long lost, movies and everything I might be missing here. Digital media has taken over our lives in a big way. News, books, advertising (my favourite :P) and what not. 

Still, print media hasn't lost its charm, I'm speaking for myself here. I was never fond of crushed papers, or old books in tattered condition. Though I do agree they have their own place in a book lovers life. Back to my Sunday experience, like I said a slow moving day. It was raining (again). Yes rain has started figuring too often in my posts, but rainy season is almost here. So just can't avoid mentioning and romanticizing the same. 

Don't rains just naturally bring out the sleepy poet in you?....( most often they do, for me again)

Rains outside, steaming cup of coffee along with a book I have been meaning to read for a while now. Songs of Blood & Sword (Fatima Bhutto). Okay the weather and the title of the book were two extremes in themselves. Anyway, I can read articles, blogs, this and that on my system, but I just can't bring myself to read a complete book in any other form, than as a hard bound or paper back, printed copy. There's just something extremely engaging about it. After pouring over the editorials of the Sunday paper (they have diluted over the years, but still worth a read), over a 100 odd pages of Fatima Bhutto, at a stretch. The experience was something else. I were to put it in simple words, a Sunday well spent. 

I have friends who would call my inflexibility a mental block, and I do give full points to them for having taken to the digital medium seamlessly. As for me, I keep getting back to the printed medium and falling in love with it all over again. 

Speaking of which, more on Songs of Blood & Sword in another post.

The most fragile 'F' word

It wavers more than a dried leaf on a dead branch. The leaf has the excuse of being almost at the brink of dear life. It has lived its time, it has seen its spring and in the winter of life it gives away slowly the color and charm of youth. In the winter of its life, it withers away when the wind tugs at its base. 


But what about us or is it just me?  


Faith, I find is more fragile than that leaf. More delicate than the petal of a flower. Difficult to have, tough to hold on to, very very easy to let go. They say its about the choices you make, the decisions you take. Whats there to choose? Everything... I know. To be or not be, to keep the faith or just let it go. 


Doubts are like raging bulls, hovering clouds, in your head, or all around. Grey, dark, relentless. Then how do you keep them at bay? Find an anchor, God help you with that. Its easy to write off people, relations, situations and intent.

I try a bit everyday, almost invariably unsuccessfully, but I hope to get there someday, to keep the faith from shaking, to keep the belief from breaking. Faith not just in the divine, but in those I know, in the ones to keep, in the ones to let go, in all things pure, in the human heart...

A little something,


I have been trying learn something important, from every experience big and small, lately. Trying to be more aware, and conscious of life, mine and around me. I was talking to mom, and she shared some trivia with me, you could call it a fact or a story. Either way, I found it lovely, and couldn't resist sharing it. Disappointments and failures pull us down, and we forget to realize our true potential. 


We forget that the obstacles are part of existence, not existence itself. 


I don't mean to sound preachy, though it is fun to step in to the shoes of one, every once in a while, but now is not the time. 


Coming back to what mom told me....


In order to control an elephant, its young one, the baby elephant, is tied by big strong ropes, to the trunk of a tree by a mahout. No matter how hard it tries, it isn't able to pull the tree down, and there it stays trapped in the big thick ropes tied to its legs. As it grows up, the rope becomes thinner and finer. No longer as thick, heavy and overpowering. Over time it reduces to being just a string, much like dental floss (okay that be might an exaggeration, but you get the point). But by then, the elephant, now much bigger and stronger, gets so conditioned to the ropes and staying tied to the spot, that it pretty much stops trying. There ain't no tree that the beast of the jungle can't pull down, but it just stops trying, without realizing its immense potential. 


That's life for us!

Little things that make your day :)


These totally deserve a post. Things which have unnerved me, have sure found a lot of space on my blog, but the nicer moments and experiences are few and far in between. So yet again, an attempt at a feel good post :)


I realized I am all about the little joys and moments, which suddenly brighten up your day, just like that. When you're least expecting it, some act of kindness, love, friendship, or just a gesture. You carry that experience all day long, making you smile when no ones looking or just feel happy. Yea thats the purest emotion, or so I think. 


When you come to your workstation, and find a note in a familiar hand, just saying 'where are you?' makes you feel some one came looking for you. A sudden call from a friend, who you haven't met or spoken to in ages, the quick catch up leaving you feeling a lot lighter inside. A card left at the back seat of the car or a handwritten note, all to appreciate & celebrate you. Lovely bookmarks brought back by a friend from foreign travels, acknowledging your love for books, a sudden email from a friend from afar, to say 'thanks, for touching their lives, with your thoughtful gesture.' An aerial ride over a city, arranged specially for you, a meal cooked just, cause you were missing mom and home food. Not to forget, compliments out of the blue, from unexpected quarters. These include all of your kind comments on my blog. 


Countless such priceless moments, that I can go on and on about.. 


Oh yeah and I want to add here, I have got hooked to reading a lot of blogs lately, some of them truly make me smile. I can so relate and connect to all the lovely people writing so beautifully about an otherwise regular day. So you too my dear bloggers, give me reasons to smile and carry around a feeling of happiness and belonging throughout the day.

Making love out of nothing at all...


As you may have figured by now, I too, like a lot of others, work for an MNC, which is known to spoil its employees silly. I totally love the company I work for, and feel lucky everyday. However, getting to my place of work and back home is one long drive. The commute can get superbly monotonous and bugging in the absence of better things to keep yourself occupied with, whilst you are being driven back and forth. Not to mention I feel lucky again, that I don't have to mind the clutch and break and there's someone else doing that for me, to ensure I reach home comfortably in spite of battling all the traffic. Make no mistake, I do enjoy driving, but busy city streets with endless traffic, get to me sometimes. But anyway thats not the point. Like I was saying, I found something interesting to indulge myself in, to keep myself from feeling extremely bored. 


How often we tend to miss the beauty around us, in things big and small. So today when my cab came out of the basement, I made a conscious effort to look around and notice much more than I usually do. Instead of fretting over the seemingly endless queue of cars, I looked up and the sky was the most beautiful shade of grey. Water laden clouds, scattered all over, waiting to splash all over. As we drove on, out & away from the concrete structures around, there were tall trees, swaying gently to a rhythm of their own, like moving in a symphony, where God himself was the conductor of the orchestra. 


Before we knew it, the clouds burst and how. Lashing against the window panes, an endless stream of water, washing away the roads, leaving the sky clean, leaves glistening after being freshly washed, and of course the smell of wet earth. While rain was doing its bit, in patches of the way, there were vendors, trying to make some quick money, before getting soaked to the bones. They came selling odds and ends, but it was a bunch or roses which caught my fancy. Lovely, full, rich crimson red, half bloomed rose buds, with shining droplets of water on the petals (thanks to the rain) wrapped in quintessential cellophane. They were so gorgeous, that they just took my breadth away.


And no, amidst all this, I wasn't anywhere close to reaching home, but I didn't mind it at all. After the roses, I managed to spot a profusion of pink and white bougainvillea, again freshly washed and blooming. And there were these bushes with star shaped leaves, giving them company, while cars whooshed passed them. 


Somewhere along the way I realized, it had stopped raining, but what a trail of beauty it had left behind. The sky had different hues every few meters and I was almost home. This had to be the most wonderful visual treat I had had in the longest time, that too on these busy city streets. 

Farewell to my lovelies....and cheers to new beginnings!

I received quite some feedback today, around the mood getting kinda gloomy here. For all those who care to read whatever I've been scribbling of late, let me assure you that, that was not the intent, at all. So I'll try changing that a bit, beginning with this post, and I sincerely hope this one leaves behind a different, hopefully pleasant, feeling. 


Today, I officially bid adieu to my very dear friends, who were two of my closest pals at work and outside. I can't stress enough how sad saying goodbye is, for me for sure. I've dined, lunched, partied, gossiped, and done pretty much everything two friends can with Veni. Yes, she's the one leaving and the other being her husband Suhel, who also happens to be a good friend in a not so conventional way. Not-so-conventional well I choose not to clarify that part. About Veni, what can I say, I have loved, enjoyed, and cherished all the fun times we have had together.  We've worked together, we've hung out in the office and otherwise (I'm sure Veni would choose to differ, we could have hung out more often than we did but still), we've talked n talked, gossiped over coffee, tea, beer & wine. And I cannot capture all of the fun times in words here. I'm sure you get the drift. All of this and more will be missed, and how. 


But I'm happy for you both. The next big step, a new beginning, a new place, and different horizons. For context, both of them are moving to Chicago, for Suhel's MBA from Kellogg. (Yeah, simply wow I know).


The best is yet to come and my heartfelt wishes and love to you both. Another time, another place, we will meet again, to re-visit the fun times and so much more.  

Complete disregard for courtesies... 

We (urban lot, earning from the MNC's which have opened shops in India for cheap labour {yea thats us :P}) happen to meet and greet people of all shapes, dimensions, backgrounds and what not. Of course there is that constant visible attempt of fitting in and matching up. Every other person seems to be a clone of their neighbour, their work colleague who defines their peer group. But again, I'm digressing here. Lets just say I wanted to set the mood and give some background and context, before I start off, on what I intended to write about in the first place.  


So, like I meant to say, increasingly everyone seems to have completely done away with basic courtesies of English language. When I refer to courtesies, all I mean are simple pleasantries like 'Hello,' 'Hi,' 'Hey,' or even 'how are you,'. All these work for me just fine. These would largely be considered about okay pleasantries to be exchanged, when meeting anyone at anyplace. But, the most recent addition to this list is 'whats up,' 'wassup,' etc etc.  I have never quite figured what is the expected response to this one. On most occasions, the wassup is replaced by an upward jerk of the head. I mean it won't Kill you to say hello while greeting someone. Oh, this is my 'Frasier,' moment... bragging about proper usage of language and everything with it. 


Well if this doesn't irk you enough, there's more. I have been noticing rather keenly my conversations with colleagues and friends. There are those who stand out with their regard for good manners and their adherence to the same. And then there are those who just 'cut to the chase,' should I say. You take the call, and their monologue starts of how life's been treating them, and where do you fit in the picture, how you can make yourself useful. Thats with friends. Okay, we can assume that with friends, its all fair, and you can do away with the formality. Now about professional acquaintances, I have been fortunate enough to communicate with people, whose opening sentence is 'yea tell me,' irrespective of who's calling me or they. 


If yo're reading this, and you fall in any of the above mentioned variety, then time to alter that a bit. Don't you think? I mean we are super busy and all that, but we can certainly afford to be a little less mechanical in our interactions, in person or otherwise....

To smile or not to smile!

Oh! the burden of being human and that too a sensitive one among the species. Meeting people who are strangers but not quite, in lift lobbies, car dropping areas, at reception desks, around washrooms, in locker rooms, or at the gym. The expression of faint recognition, teamed with apprehension of being the first to acknowledge, deadly combination I tell you. I think women face it more than men. By personal experience I can safely say, men are more eager to exchange pleasantries than women. Most women that I happen to run into, walk around with this absolute dead pan expression. If you are reading this, and are a woman, my appeal to you please don't take this personally, and I don't intend to attack anyone. But I think I have been running in to this variety much too often.

The places you visit everyday, you happen to inadvertently become part of a larger group of random strangers. But there is an unspoken connection between all these people, that they all are at the same place, around the same time, for the very same reason. It's like being part of a silent reading group, where you know no one, but all of you visit the same library everyday, at the same time, and happen to sit around the same big table reading this and that. Like it or not, its about ok social etiquette to acknowledge the presence of any individual in this group and to smile at them. Chances are high that all the guys in the group would exchange pleasantries in the form of a nod, hand shake or just a smile. But the fairer sex can be a bit of a tight fist in this regard. She can be miserly in her smiles and a tough nut to crack even for simple acts of recognition.

Being a woman myself, I'm bound by laws of sisterhood (well or so I presume), but often I'm left wondering if its okay to be the first to smile. If we just let go of the apprehension sometimes, drop the dead pan expression, and bring some sunshine with a radiant unapologetic smile, a smile of recognition, a smile of acknowledgement...

The Sprint to Perfection (NOT)

Whatever happened to realizing self worth and embracing your shortcomings. Everywhere all you see is the sprint to perfection. The size zero waist line or is it -1 now, I've begun to lose track, the pouty lips, the line free face, but this one just gets to me, 'the fair spotless skin.' Hordes and hordes of fairness creams at our disposal. 20 somethings talking about a wrinkle free skin, wait, don't we already have that till mid thirties, like by default. But clearly fairness creams get the lion's share of the pie. The solution to a perfectly happy you, cause that guy/girl you're dating will write you off if you don't have a 'white,' skin, an acne free face and of course a Kat like body. Not to mention, the hair, the layers and layers of black perfection. The sweets without sugar for a washboard flat mid area, and on and on and on.

I'm not a proponent of mediocrity, and I do believe in first impressions. Clearly a clean, well dressed and well turned out person is any day more welcome, than the complete reverse. But come on cliched as it may sound, beauty has to be more than skin deep... or so I believe.

Every time I see one of those fairness creams, I feel like screaming out loud at the stupidity of the whole idea, feeding on the common psyche of fair better than not so fair, skinny better than healthy and what not. oh! how often, have I fallen prey to the triviality of it all, until my more grounded friends drill better sense in to me.

Its like an action item on your daily to do list, to remind yourself that it's okay to not be a perfect 10/10. While you can surely strive for it, lets not drive ourselves up the wall in an attempt to achieve the same!

Sounds inside a silent me,

Much noise, a lot of chaos

Shuttling ideas, speeding thoughts...

Lemme hold on to one,

Lemme ponder a lil longer

The stray thought might grow,

The idea a tad stronger...

Else I'd say, just shut up

My stupid, chaotic, restless mind.

What do ya seek, what shall ya find?

A moment of silence,

a split second blankness.

N soon it returns to its busy self

Same ol' chaos, same ol' noise

Looking for its place, my drowning voice

Beyond Time & Space

Does it happen to you as much as it does to me? At least off late it does to me, more often than my liking. The noises in your head becoming louder than the ones outside. Just too much chaos out there. Like a parallel milky way, lot of planetary motion. Thoughts and words and syllables and sounds, and who said what and how did the day go and what was the last conversation I didn't have the patience to sit through, where did I zone out before rudely stepping out on the pretext of answering a phone call. It just so happens that this chaos is so engaging that if you were paying attention it could just suck you in. Before you realize you are indulging in these rather loud monologues with yourself.Sounds and songs. oh yes songs quite often. What gets to me is the music. The music is always in there. Music long lost, songs long unsung, notes hanging mid air. In all probability these were never heard in the near past and never will be in the near future. It feels like they were embedded somewhere deep deep within the subconscious.

Here I am trying to make conversation with you, and likes of you, basically anyone, but all the while the music, the noises, the words the monologue (silent one) and what not, just goes on and on and on and on and on. Utter clutter. In this day and age, when every sooth sayer is asking humanity to de-clutter both animate and inanimate, this mental clutter is a necessary evil or not?

Losing yourself to the sounds in your head, no I'm not a zombie, but when the sounds become LOUD, thats when I stop and hear. Mostly it's music, to my relief. A momentary escape beyond time and space, a trans beyond words, a space unknown and unseen to the world...