It starts from where all have you been, to where should you go and what should be tried in food, what they should be vary of, and on and on and the list goes. All the lunches and breakfasts are rounds of imposed familiarization with India and us Indians with the drawbacks finding a special mention at every juncture.
We want all expats to visit Jaipur, its colorful, vibrant so on and so forth. Then they have to go to Agra, ( I wonder how many of us have visited Agra ourselves, to say the least I have not) to check out the Taj Mahal. Here we add a word of caution, beware of the kids and the rest who will hound you and beg for alms. So on one hand while we want them to get a glimpse of our culturally rich country we want to tell them about the additional baggage of poverty that we have and flaunt to an extent as well. Agra will be followed by Goa ( I really wonder whats so Indian about Goa anyway... but lets keep it for another post). So Goa it is with all the beaches and the beach side shacks et al. We are moving down south, and familiarizing our visitors with the wonders of the South of the country. And we talk about Kerala as if we visit it everyday. So we tell them about the back waters (They dont know how exhaustive our primary schooltext books really are. They teach us all about the Kerala back waters, lagoons, boat races, Periyaar reserve and more. This was followed up by Travelogues which gave us what text books did not - painted the right picture for the future visitor). Thats as much as we can enlighten them about South, so time to get back north and try the Hill Stations this time. So Shimla, Mussorie, Manali, etcetera, is what's heaped on them along with the exact specifications of how to get there and where to stay.
It looks like we all become the self appointed 'Incredible India,' ambassadors and can pretty much chalk out an itinery inclusive of food, travel & stay which marks 'India.' The 'We' here is the Zinger Eating, brand flaunting Gen 'Y' (or is it Gen Z already?) who would love to flee the country at the first opportunity may be may be not ......well who are we kidding...
And if this was not enough, we keep enlightening them about the food and the most important event in most Indian families - The Big Fat Indian Wedding. Yes since we are the self appointed ambassadors we have to give a wholesome picture right? So on we go describing how elaborate Indian weddings are. They are food festivals in themselves, replete with colors and lights and everything extravagant and over the top (read North Indian Weddings). Oh yes how can I forget how we tell them about what to see on the roads and what to expect from a beggar. We really go all out in telling them not to be surprised to see animals on the roads, people jumping red lights, getting out of their cars to pick up a fight with the driver of the next car. Honking is like background music and if its not there, you feel something's amiss. But ofcourse we are quick to add that our dear white friends will be driven by chauffeurs who know exactly how to get out of messy situations, so they have nothing to fear. After going on for more than an hour about the possible problems that they might face in India, we scare the day lights out of them. Just when they begin wondering what they are up against, we are quick to add that by the end of it all they are bound to fall for it and perhaps even begin appreciating it.
Talk of hospitality - well we believe in presenting things in the right light, dont we!
